04/14/13

Today I Told the Truth

What do you get when a girl named Ryann meets a boy named Stacy in a college marching band? A band-geek marriage full of music, laughter, stories, and, on occasion, confused telemarketers.

Our Adoption Profile

My husband and I are on an adoption waiting list. Life in the pre-adoption limbo land isn’t terrible. It’s an exciting time, full of hope and joyful anticipation. Sure, it’s not easy to make plans. And there are disappointments. But this has been our choice and it will be worth it.

There are times when the wait is difficult. Similar, but different, than life before we were on a waiting list. We’ve been trying to start a family for several years. So, a few years ago, I decided to be selfish.

I stopped going to baby showers.

As happy as I am for family and friends that are growing their families (and I am, in fact, happy for them), I knew it was something I needed to do for myself.

And the other day, I told someone the truth.

“Why can’t you come to the baby shower?” They asked. Not because they don’t understand what we are going through. Just because they wanted us there to share in their excitement.

This time, instead of making up some kind of excuse, the truth slipped out. I surprised even myself. “Baby showers are hard for us.”

Giving myself the permission to not go to baby showers, to send a gift and our love instead, has improved my mental health. There are times when we should do things that are hard. Things that makes us uncomfortable.

And there times when it is okay to take care of yourself. To be selfish. To be sane. To not feel guilty about knowing your limits and what you need to do for you.

Sometimes, it’s even okay to tell the truth. People won’t always understand, but as long as you are true to yourself, it will be okay.

04/9/13

Stretching My Boundaries

I don’t like sad books. No. Strike that. It’s not that I don’t like them. I detest them. I avoid them. I read to escape and to experience something outside my everyday experience. Not that I have a lot of sad days, just enough of them that I’d like to keep some distance, if you know what I mean.

But I know that’s not healthy.

I know that some of the best books I’ve read, some of the books that have touched me the deepest, are those that made me cry. Made me feel. Made me live.

So, I need to stretch my boundaries. Not avoid books that look like they might take me through an emotional wringer.

I read Eleanor and Park.

And I survived.

Then I picked up Gayle Forman’s If I Stay. Even when a car accident happened in the first chapter, I kept going. TO THE END.

It’s like I’m a grownup or something.

Though I’m still avoiding books about adorable dogs getting up in years.

Baby steps.

01/4/13

Conflicted

So I read a book that left me feeling conflicted. I’m keeping the title and author quiet, because I prefer not to post negative reviews (and, before you ask, it is not a book with 50 or Grey in the title). The book I read recently was self published, and, full disclosure, I haven’t read a lot of self published books. I know people who have self published (not this author, however) and I understand the decision. I respect it. It isn’t easy to finish a book, let alone travel down the road of publishing it yourself.

The book I read captivated me. The story would NOT let me go (hence very little sleep this week). It was a romance and aspects of the hero’s personality disturbed me…even if his actions were eventually explained and redeemed. The voice was strong, the plot intense and the humor would catch me by surprise.

But the writing? Another matter. The book was longer than it needed to be and the dialogue distracting (full a’ contractions an’ stuff). The super steamy love scenes read more like a Twister game than anything else. Hand on blue dot, hand off blue dot, etc.

So why am I posting about it? Because as pulled in to the plot as I was, I finished the book feeling sad. The author has published several books and I wish them the best! However, I don’t know that I could recommend it to anyone else. A part of me wants to read the other books in the series, but I won’t because I don’t want to absorb that writing style in my head.

An even bigger part of me was left feeling sad because I could see the bones of the book and how great it could have been with the right editor. Story is important, and that’s what kept me reading. But writing will give the book staying power and, for me, this one did not have it.

See? Conflicted.

09/13/12

Liquid Lies & Literary Lasagna

Recipe from The Cook’s Illustrated Cookbook, p. 210.

So, I made lasagna last weekend. Thank you, thank you. Yes, it was a major achievement in my life. And it was the best lasagna ever made. In this house. By me. Okay, so it was the only lasagna I’ve ever made. But there was something magical about building up the dish layer-by-layer and watching it evolve into carbohydrate heaven while it baked. That, for me, is the beauty of cooking–transforming individual ingredients into something bigger, better, more meaningful. It’s magic.

The ugly side of cooking? Shopping. I mean, really, could they make raisins harder to find? But, that’s another post for another day.

I’ve been meaning to write about Hanna Martine’s excellent debut, Liquid Lies, for awhile now. As a librarian, I booktalk a lot of books–and I love it. For this book, I might say something like, “Oh, you might like Liquid Lies. It’s about a woman from a race of people who can control water and she wants to get promoted in the family business–but then she is kidnapped. Soon her only ally is the man who was paid to capture her–and the one man she can’t resist. Dum dum daah.”

Now, I think I’ll go with “Read this. It’s like literary lasagna.” Sure, you might not that see that in a New York Times review, but maybe you should.

Lasagna is as rich and textured, each bite a perfect combination of its ingredients. The same could be said for this urban fantasy. Martine deftly intertwines complicated characters like Gwen, the woman destined to be a leader for the Elementals (with an arranged marriage and everything) and Reed, a mercenary who keeps a solid wall between his heart and the job. Usually.

And then there is the world–it’s our world, but not. Gwen’s people, the Ofarians, live amongst the Primaries (that’d be us ordinary-boring-humans) and they are good at keeping secrets, even from their own people. We soon discover another race, the Tedrans, and they also have a story to tell–but which is the truth?

Mix in a little bit of Gwen’s mission in life–which takes on a new and different meaning as her world unravels–and then top it off with a smokin’ hot attraction between Gwen and Reed. Boom. Now you have a book worth savoring. When you’re done, you’ll feel satisfied and a bit wrung out from the journey, in very good way.And, you’ll probably be a little thirsty, too…

Available December 31!

09/1/12

A Night to Surrender by Tessa Dare

A few days ago I reached into the TBR bag, closed my eyes and pulled about A Night to Surrender by Tessa Dare. Don’t get me wrong, the books in the TBR bag–yes, I had to upgrade the pile to a bag–are all ones I want to read. It’s a fine balancing act between TBR books, writing craft books and books that leap of the library shelves and into my arms at the library. (Psst–did you know Tessa Dare is a part-part-part-time librarian? She is!)

I was lucky enough to meet Tessa at the recent Romance Writers of America National Conference and see her win the RITA award in the Regency Historical category. I had read another of her titles from the Stud Club Trilogy and had been impressed by the quirky humor, appealing characters and surprising story lines.

A Night to Surrender is the first in the Spindle Cove series. Susanna Fitch is a take-charge woman who transformed Spindle Cove into a welcome retreat for woman who don’t fit in any where else in society. Whether for their appearance, health or unusual interests. Susanna has created an environment for these woman to grow and explore without the usual limitations of the day–and without the presence of several bachelors.

Until Victor Bramwell comes to town, that is. A recently injured soldier, he is trying to get back to the front lines where he belongs. He’s been charged with raising a volunteer militia to prove he still has what it takes to lead soldiers in war. Unfortunately, men are hard to find in the Spindle Cove area. The few he does find start spoiling Susanna’s idyllic society–and sparks start to fly between her and “Bram”. Soon these sparks turn into more than just attraction and both will need to reevaluate their self images as well as goals in life when faced with their true feelings for each others.

A Night to Surrender was a terrific read, full of humor, sensuality, and unexpected twists along the way. But, don’t take my word for it–read the first chapter here.

The Spindle Cove series continues with the titles below, including A Lady by Midnight that was just released this week. They are already downloaded to my e-reader–just don’t tell my TBR bag. It killed a spider for me last night, and I’d hate to make it an enemy now…

08/28/12

Bound to Love the Torn Trilogy

My reading tastes fall all over the literary map, but the stories that I love most are the ones that I find myself thinking about after I’ve put the book down. The ones that have scenes that keep coming back to mind at random points throughout the day and scenes that you find yourself reenacting for friends.

Egads, I do reenact scenes from books to friends. Sorry, friends!

One series that I have talked up a lot over the last few months is the Torn Trilogy by Erica O’Rourke, and this isn’t just because I know how awesome Erica is (and she is!) but because the series truly deserves talking about. Maura Fitzgerald wakes up in the hospital at the beginning of the first book, Torn. The incident that puts her in the hospital killed her best friend and Maura “Mo” vows to do whatever she needs to do to avenge her friends death. Mo also discovers that her best friend has been hiding a secret, magical life. So, unmagical Mo decides to pick up where her friend left off and soon finds herself trapped between two worlds and two boys.

Throughout the series Mo learns more secrets about those around her–and more about herself. Where do fate and choice intersect? All of the books in the series captivated me until the wee hours of the morning and I didn’t want to see the series end. In Bound, the final book in the trilogy, Mo struggles to separate her own dreams from others’ expectations. She’s bound to the magic and still feels a responsibility to the memory of her friend, but she has also bound herself to dangerous alliances in order to protect those she loves.

Along with the textured magical world created in the series, I loved watching Mo change and grow. I struggled right along with her in deciding who I liked more, Colin from her life in Chicago or magical Luc from New Orleans. By the time we reached the end, the resolution worked perfectly for me–and also surprised me at a few turns.

An all around wonderful and satisfying read and I can’t wait for Erica’s release next year!

This just in: Erica will be with appearing several amazing YA authors at Anderson’s Bookshop in Naperville, IL, on Thursday, August 30. Act now and get exclusive content from authors such as Veronica Roth, Erica O’Rourke, Dan Krokos, Susan Dennard and Leigh Bardugo. More info on the event can be found here.

08/26/12

Storm by Brigid Kemmerer

My To Be Read pile is like another person living in our house. Each day, I look over to find it staring at me—taunting me with the rich stories just waiting to be discovered. So, this weekend, I said, “Okay, fine. I won’t clean the house. I won’t write. I won’t cook. I will only read, IF IT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY.”

The pile took me up on the offer. First up was Brigid Kemmerer’s Storm, from the Elemental Series. I have been following Brigid on twitter for several months, and I had the pleasure of meeting her at the Romance Writers of America Literacy Signing this past July. Now that I read it—in a matter of hours—I can only say this: Go forth and read!

Becca Chandler is a teenager dealing with the typical high school dramas—and some not so typical. Before the story starts, she’s involved in a bad situation with an ex-boyfriend. This escalates into lies that spread like wildfire, leaving her reputation in tatters. She’s leaving the school after a self-defense class one night and spots two guys beating up on a third. Becca’s phone is dead and the parking lot is deserted, so she uses her car to save classmate Chris Merrick.

Chris’ family is no stranger to secrets. Becca soon discovers that the Chris and his brothers are anything but average. Chris can control water—while his brothers control wind, fire, and earth. They struggle to keep their powers under wraps, knowing that if the extent their abilities is discovered, it could spell disaster for them all.

The more time Becca spends with Chris, the more she starts to learn their secrets—and then she is targeted by the same people out for the brothers. Soon, a hunky new boy shows up and seems like everything Becca has ever wanted…but is he?

I couldn’t read this book fast enough. Realistic teen issues blend seamlessly with the troubles that magic can bring into our lives. The relationships between the four brothers was complicated and endearing—and I very much look forward to reading about the other brothers in the family.

Spark, Gabriel’s story, will be released Tuesday, August 28. Thank goodness for holiday weekends!

07/22/12

Six Sentences on Sunday

I had the *best* writing weekend! I’ve gushed about my Chicago-North chapter before, but it never gets old having the support of a dedicated writing community. So, I’m celebrating with my first (unofficial) Six Sentences on Sunday post. (Meaning–I saw Shannyn Schroeder do one and I’m totally copying her.) There is even more info here: http://www.sixsunday.com/

Here are six sentences from my current work in progress–Resist Me.

“Fin, we could spend this cab ride talking,” Chloe said, smoothing the lapel of his tuxedo jacket. Her touch warmed his skin even through layers of fabric. “Or, we could spend the ride not talking.” Her eyes dropped to his mouth and held.

He wrapped a hand around her neck and grazed her lips with his thumb. “Talking is overrated.”

07/10/12

Waiting

My husband and I were private people–until we met our adoption counselor about a year ago. We told her of the long winding road that had led us to the Cradle, and we haven’t stopped talking about adoption since.

What do you get when a girl named Ryann meets a boy named Stacy in a college marching band? A band-geek marriage full of music, laughter, stories, and, on occasion, confused telemarketers.

In some ways, it is probably good practice for what life will be like after a child is placed with us. We are open to adopting a child from any race or ethnicity, so there is a good chance we will be a “conspicuous family.” Gone will be the days where we can roam just under the world’s radar. People will probably always have questions and comments for us about adoption, so we might as well get used to it now.

Another reason we are open with our adoption story is because we know connections with a birth parent could be made in many different ways. Networking and getting the word out about our desire to adopt is vital. Now I linger over my coffee and chat up baristas. I share a little too much information when picking out paint samples at the paint store. I slip our adoption business cards to the short order cooks at the local greasy spoon. You never know who might know someone who knows someone who might be considering an adoption plan. We also have comfort in knowing that the Cradle counselors will help birth parents make the best choice for the child and for themselves.

We haven’t been waiting long–only a few short months. Some days the wait is easier than others, but we have faith that a child will join our family eventually. For those of you who haven’t had the experience of running into one of us at the paint store here are a few of the more common questions we’ve been asked.

Q: How long is the wait?

The average wait is about two years and we’ve only been waiting a short time so far. However, you never know when birth parents might be looking for specific things that would match our own adoption profile. The birth parents choose which adoptive family to place their child with and each birth parent has different hopes and dreams for their child’s forever family. So length of time on the list is just one factor they may consider. We could get the call next month or next year…

Q: Will the adoption will be open or closed?

We hope to work together with the birth parents to have an open adoption. Everything we have learned reinforces our beliefs that an open adoption is the best option for the child. This way they have a better sense of their heritage, medical history and identity.

Q: How old will the child be? Will the child be from Illinois?

The program we are in at the Cradle is the Infant Domestic program. The child placed with us will be a newborn and could be from this area or from another state. Adoptions that cross state lines involve a little different procedures, but they are completely doable.

Q: Can you pick a boy or a girl?

No, that is not an option. Like many expectant parents we would be equally happy with either a boy or a girl. Or one of each!

Q: What does Clete (our dog) think about all this?

He has been somewhat quiet on the subject, but he is great around kids. Having a baby join our happy family will be a transition, but we are confident Clete and the child will become good friends. Plus, Clete is always happy for someone in his life who is likely to drop food.

Q: Any news?

This one is the hardest of all. We are notified if someone looks seriously at our profile, but that isn’t news were are going to share with the world. It is hard enough going through the ups and downs of adoption without taking the rest of the world on the roller coaster ride. We also know that nothing is guaranteed until we bring a child home with us. So, that is our standard answer: You’ll know we have news when there is another person here with us. But don’t worry, we’ll be shouting it from the rooftops by that point.

Q: What if we know someone who is considering adoption?

Direct them to our adoption profile.

Thank you for helping us to share our story!

04/30/12

Spring Fling 2012

Last weekend was the Chicago-North Spring Fling Romance Writers’ Conference.

Now that the whirlwind of a weekend is over, I cannot believe how much work the Spring Fling Committee put into the conference, and how effortless they made it all seem. This conference was full of educational programs, networking opportunities, and a star-studded book signing that nearly broke my bank.

The best souvenir?

Hope.

Hope that practice will make each draft just better enough than the last to keep me going.

Hope that someday I’ll write THE book that lands an agent and starts my career.

Hope that, no matter what, I’ll always have someone to turn to in this crazy endeavor we call “writing.”

If you haven’t had a chance to go to a writing conference, give yourself the gift of hope by joining your local RWA Chapter. Trust me, you’ll be glad you did.

My Awesome Roommates

Ryann Murphy

Author Archives: Ryann